By: Mathew Kunnath John, MSW, MPhil
Feeling overwhelmed? Like stress is a constant companion? You’re not alone. We often hear about countless ways to manage stress, from calming teas to intense workouts. But here’s the thing: one size doesn’t fit all. What works wonders for your friend might leave you feeling even more stressed.
Think about it: If loud music grates on your nerves, a “calming” playlist won’t help. If your schedule is packed, squeezing in an hour of yoga might feel like another chore. Even a lack of interest can make a popular stress-relief technique totally useless.
So, is there anything that does work for everyone? Absolutely!
The Universal Pillars of Stress Management
While personalized strategies are fantastic, there are five fundamental pillars that support everyone’s ability to cope with stress. These are your non-negotiables, the foundational building blocks for a less stressful life:
- Eat Well:
- Expanding on the idea of your body as a high-performance vehicle, eating well is a foundational strategy for managing stress by directly influencing your internal chemistry. The food you consume impacts everything from your gut-brain axis, which produces the majority of your mood-stabilizing serotonin, to your blood sugar levels, where steady fuel from complex carbs and proteins prevents the energy crashes and irritability caused by sugar. By choosing nutrient-dense “premium fuel” rich in vitamins and healthy fats, you actively help your body combat the stress hormone cortisol and reduce inflammation. This conscious approach to nutrition is not about restrictive dieting, but about strategically providing your body with the sustained energy and chemical balance it needs to build resilience and navigate daily pressures with greater stability and stamina.
- Stay Hydrated:
- Maintaining optimal hydration is a foundational yet often overlooked pillar of stress management. When your body is deprived of sufficient water, every system is impacted, but the effects on the brain are particularly pronounced. Even mild dehydration can thicken the blood, forcing the heart to work harder and triggering the release of stress hormones like cortisol, while also impairing cognitive function. This physiological strain manifests as fatigue, headaches, brain fog, and a general feeling of malaise—symptoms that drain your mental and physical resources. Consequently, your ability to cope with external pressures is significantly diminished, making everyday challenges feel more overwhelming and amplifying your overall stress response. By proactively keeping a water bottle handy and sipping throughout the day, you ensure your body and mind are functioning efficiently, building a crucial buffer of resilience that helps you navigate stressors with greater clarity and calm.
- Maintain a Regular Sleep Pattern:
- Maintaining a regular sleep pattern by going to bed and waking up at consistent times is a foundational pillar of holistic health, as it anchors your body’s internal clock, or circadian rhythm. This consistent routine is far more than simply avoiding tiredness; it is a critical period when your body undergoes essential maintenance and your brain reorganizes itself. During these hours of quality rest, cellular repair is optimized, hormones that regulate appetite and stress are balanced, and the immune system is strengthened. Simultaneously, your mind consolidates memories, processes emotions, and clears out metabolic byproducts, which is crucial for learning, mood stability, and cognitive function. Therefore, treating sleep as a non-negotiable appointment is an investment in your daily performance and long-term vitality, ensuring you are physically restored, mentally sharp, and emotionally resilient for the day ahead.
- Engage in Physical Activity:
- Engaging in physical activity is a powerful and accessible strategy for boosting your mental state by directly influencing your body’s chemistry. Even moderate movement triggers the release of endorphins, often called “feel-good” hormones, which act as natural mood elevators and pain relievers. Simultaneously, exercise helps to reduce the levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, creating a sense of calm and well-being. The beauty of this natural remedy is its versatility; you don’t need an intense workout to reap the rewards. A brisk walk, a joyful dance in your living room, a few simple push-ups, a restorative yoga session, a swim, or even some time spent gardening can initiate this positive hormonal cascade, proving that any activity that gets your body moving is a valuable step toward a brighter mood.
- Nurture Your Social Bonds:
- As inherently social creatures, the need for connection, love, and belonging is a fundamental component of our human experience, as essential as any other basic necessity for our well-being. It is crucial to consciously invest in these relationships by dedicating quality time to friends, family, and loved ones, as these interactions form the bedrock of our emotional support systems. If circumstances or location create limitations, actively seeking out community is still possible; joining support groups, either in person or through online platforms, can provide a powerful sense of camaraderie and understanding, ensuring that the vital need for connection is met.
Finding Your Balance: A Personalized Approach to Peace
Finding Your Balance: A Personalized Approach to Peace
Beyond the universal basics, true stress mastery comes from understanding your unique emotional landscape. This is where Activity Scheduling comes in – your personalized blueprint for better coping.
In our daily lives, we engage in all sorts of activities. Some fill us with pleasure, leaving us energized and happy. Others bring distress, making us feel down or anxious. And then there are productive activities that give us a sense of accomplishment and mastery. For effective stress management, the goal is to find a healthy balance among these.
The core idea of activity scheduling is simple: increase the time and frequency of pleasurable activities while strategically reducing the impact of distressing ones. Productive activities are vital and shouldn’t be cut. However, if they become a source of distress, the focus shifts to finding ways to manage that discomfort without sacrificing the activity itself.
Activity scheduling isn’t just about making a list; it’s a powerful tool for self-monitoring your emotional balance. By tracking what you do and how it makes you feel, you gain invaluable insights. This allows you to make informed adjustments, consistently adding more of what brings you joy and proactively reducing what weighs you down
Understanding Your Activities: A Self-Assessment
Ready to uncover your own activity balance? Take a moment to reflect on your regular activities. In the tables below, list up to five activities that make you feel good and up to five that make you feel bad. Then, estimate their weekly frequency—approximately how many times did you do each or experience it in the last week?
My Activity Balance: What Makes Me Feel Good
|
Activities that make me feel good (List up to 5) |
Weekly Frequency* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.
My Activity Balance: What Makes Me Feel Bad
|
Activities that make me feel bad (List up to 5) |
Weekly Frequency* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
*Weekly Frequency: Approximately how many times did you do it or experience it in the last week?
Example: A Snapshot During Challenging Times
To give you an idea, here’s an example from someone who prepared this at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Notice how specific their activities are, both positive and negative.
|
Activities that make me feel good |
Activities that make me feel bad |
|
Cooking dinner myself |
Sitting alone at home and thinking about job |
|
Having lunch with family |
Lying idle in the bed |
|
Having lunch with friends |
Thinking about children’s schooling |
|
Walking around the river |
Thinking about job insecurity |
|
Sitting alone on the top of the mountain |
Calculating the possibility of getting COVID to me and my family |
|
Listening to music |
Listening to news updates about COVID deaths |
|
Gardening |
Talking to Mr. X, because he always shares pessimistic thoughts |
|
Reading a book |
Listening to Mr. T about the economic impacts of COVID to the world |
This exercise is your first step toward gaining clarity and control over your emotional landscape.
Putting Your Plan into Action: Executing Activity Scheduling
Identifying activities that bring you pleasure, distress, or productivity is a fantastic first step. The real magic, however, happens when you start consciously executing your activity schedule. This isn’t about rigid adherence, but about intentional choices that nudge your emotional balance towards well-being.
Here are some key principles to guide your execution:
- Prioritize Pleasure:
- Don’t wait for good feelings to happen; actively block out time for activities that uplift you. Treat them as non-negotiable appointments with yourself.
- Strategize for Distress:
- For activities that make you feel bad, think proactively. Can you reduce their frequency? Can you modify how you approach them? Can you delegate them? Or, if unavoidable, can you develop coping mechanisms to manage your response during or after them?
- Integrate Productive Activities Wisely:
- Productive tasks are crucial for a sense of mastery. If they cause distress, don’t eliminate them. Instead, explore new approaches or coping strategies to make them more manageable. This could be breaking them into smaller parts, taking more breaks, or pairing them with something enjoyable.
- Be Flexible and Review:
- Life is dynamic. Your schedule might not always go as planned, and that’s okay. The goal is progress, not perfection. Regularly review your activities and emotional responses (perhaps once a week) and be prepared to adjust your plan as your circumstances or feelings change.
Example: Executing a Personal Balance Plan
Let’s revisit our earlier example. After identifying their ‘good’ and ‘bad’ activities, this individual crafted a plan to actively shift their emotional balance. Here’s how they planned to execute it over a typical week:
|
Activity Category |
Activity |
Execution Plan/Strategy |
|
Pleasure |
Cooking dinner myself |
Scheduled: Friday & Saturday evenings, trying a new recipe each week. |
|
Having lunch with family |
Scheduled: Saturday & Sunday afternoons. Prioritizing these over other weekend plans. |
|
|
Having lunch with friends |
Scheduled: Tuesday & Thursday lunch breaks, even if it’s a quick virtual chat. |
|
|
Walking around the river |
Scheduled: Every evening after work for 30 minutes, rain or shine. |
|
|
Sitting alone on the top of the mountain |
Scheduled: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday mornings (1-2 hours) as a weekend ritual. |
|
|
Listening music |
Scheduled: Daily, 30 minutes in the morning while getting ready, and 30 minutes in the evening while winding down. |
|
|
Gardening |
Scheduled: Saturday & Sunday mornings for 1 hour each. This is a designated ‘me-time’ activity. |
|
|
Reading a book |
Scheduled: Daily, 1 hour before bed instead of screen time. |
|
|
Distress |
Sitting alone at home and thinking about job |
Strategy: When this tendency arises, immediately replace it with a pre-planned pleasurable activity like putting on music, picking up a book, or stepping out to the garden. |
|
Lying idle in the bed |
Strategy: Instead of prolonged idleness, if not feeling well, either shift to a gentle pleasurable activity like reading or listening to music, or get up and go to the garden/mountain if possible. |
|
|
Thinking about children’s schooling |
Strategy: Schedule a dedicated 15-minute slot on Wednesday mornings to discuss concerns with a trusted friend or the school principal, rather than dwelling on it constantly. |
|
|
Thinking Job insecurity |
Strategy: Schedule a meeting with the boss next Tuesday to discuss concerns directly. Dedicate Saturday afternoon to updating the resume and exploring alternatives if needed. |
|
|
Calculating possibility of getting COVID |
Strategy: Schedule a call with a health expert next Monday to get factual information and reduce anxiety-driven calculations. |
|
|
Listening news updates about COVID deaths |
Strategy: Limit news consumption to only checking official government notifications once a day at 6 PM, avoiding constant updates from other sources. |
|
|
Talking to Mr. X (pessimistic thoughts) |
Strategy: Consciously redirect conversations to positive topics, or politely excuse themselves. Actively seek out conversations with more hopeful individuals or engage in prayer. |
|
|
Listening Mr. T (economic impacts) |
Strategy: Politely state, “I’m focusing on positive news and personal growth right now, so I’d prefer not to discuss global economics.” or avoid meeting him if possible. |
In conclusion, this execution plan is far more than a simple wish list; it is a dynamic and strategic framework for navigating the complexities of daily life. The real power of this approach is not found in the specific examples, but in the personal commitment to crafting your own unique system. By intentionally designing strategies for both joy and adversity, you equip yourself with the tools for enhanced resilience. Ultimately, your success will be determined not by the perfection of your plan, but by your consistency in implementing it and your willingness to adapt and stay committed to your own well-being.
Need support or more information? We’re here to help.
Feel free to reach out to us through any of the channels below:
-
Website: mananmentalhealth.com
-
Email: manancalicut@gmail.com
-
WhatsApp: +91 97092 88932
About the author:
- Mathew Kunnath John is a highly experienced Psychiatric Social Worker and Mental Health Professional with over 13 years in the field. He established mananmentalhealth.com, offering secure online therapy to a diverse global clientele.
- Since November 2018, Mathew has completed five international missions with Doctors Without Borders (MSF), serving in Jordan, Sierra Leone, Ethiopia, Libya, and South Sudan, addressing critical mental health needs in conflict and crisis zones. He is also a prolific researcher, covering topics such as the impact of COVID-19, explanatory models of mental illness, social connectedness, gender discrimination, and psychological distress.
